FEAR BONERS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Players, Front Office upset with rival organization’s morals
Boners to establish groundbreaking “indefinite moratorium”
“Respectfully, their GM can go f*ck himself.” – Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz
HIGHLAND PARK, N.J. — A trade between the Fear Boners and the Second Floor Shits was vetoed by fellow Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership Monday evening.
The ruling came from a majority vote of ownership, citing a clear violation of the “good faith clause,” seen in Article VI, Section 5 of the B4EFFL Constitution.
“All trades shall be made in good faith with the best interest of each team’s short- and/or long-term future in mind,” it reads.
Earlier in the evening, Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz issued a brief statement to the league:
“The Fear Boners organization holds the integrity of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football to the highest degree,” he said. “It is our expectation that each organization and respective owner rises up to that same standard set forth by our fellow Boners. Today, Leonard Neslin and the Second Floor Shits organization did not live up to this standard, and that is truly unsettling.”
The proposed trade in question would have sent Green Bay wideout Randall Cobb, Washington tight end Jordan Reed and a 2016 third-round draft pick to the Shits for Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Baltimore wideout Kamar Aiken and a 2016 eighth-round draft pick.
Originally agreed to Tuesday morning with a slight variance (the Boners would have received a seventh-round draft pick from the Shits), talks quickly broke down once Neslin expressed concern over the parameters of a deal.
Being the little bitch-nugget he is, the Shits’ GM never fully responded to requests from the Boners on Wednesday to resume trade discussions, despite an official proposal to the team. Then, with a complete disregard for human decency, that dweeb waited five days with no attempt of reaching out only to accept the proposed trade not only out of the blue, but in the middle of the week’s competition.
This decision came without any notice to the Boners organization, despite a specific request made by the Horizontal Surprise on Tuesday to be informed prior to an official acceptance.
“I was under the impression that we could engage in professional, mutually beneficial trade negotiations with the Shits, but man do they live up to their name as a shit organization,” Jewish Chocolate said in a fury. “That little cunt-stick not only agreed to a trade just to scab-out a couple of hours later citing a change of heart, he then waited five days to accept a trade without allowing us that same opportunity to reevaluate our options. What a fucking pussy.”
As a response to lowly (and frankly embarrassing) practices of those little Shits, the Boners have announced an unprecedented indefinite moratorium on negotiations of any kind with the reigning five-win franchise. It is the first such moratorium in B4EFFL history.
“As Boners, we have an obligation to our players and fan base (especially the ladies) to rise above the competition and maintain a consistent pulse on the blood-flow of proper morals. This means refusing to engage in ANY negotiations with those classless assholes moving forward. They’re the real dicks. If they want to re-visit a professional relationship with a leading organization in this league, we will need a handwritten apology,” Gefilte Fresh stated.
“And don’t give me that bullshit, half-ass apology (Len) made to the league earlier tonight,” the Big Front continued. “He thinks we need to take off the training wheels? Ask him about the emotions his team was riding after losing in the first round of the consolation bracket in last year’s postseason. Respectfully, their GM can go fuck himself.”
Additionally, the Shits’ lint-licking GM offered a personal shot at the Bearjew in the league’s official Facebook group chat earlier, claiming the Boners’ only requested to nullify the trade after a negative response from their peers.
“And allowing the league to react to a trade, and then ask to pull the trade back,” whatever that dude’s name is said. “I feel is a bit ridiculous.”
This claim was treated received by front office members of the Boners front office with hearty laughter. Bongos quickly offered a response, simply stating: “Len, I know more about fantasy than you do.”
History has proven that claim to be true.
“My night of enjoying a nice mushroom barley soup while catching up with the latest episodes of The Amazing Race has been pushed back due to this shit. I feel our team will rally behind this lost night,” The Quick Dip stated.
–FB–