BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Blockbuster Deal Between Second Floor Shits, Fear Boners Nullified

Ownership Cites ‘Good Faith’ Clause of Constitution in Second Veto of Season

Boners Owner Schwartz: Shits Owner Neslin’s Actions “Truly Unsettling”

Shits Owner Neslin Expresses Remorse Despite Boners Owner Schwartz’s “Training Wheels”

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership vetoed Monday evening a trade between the Second Floor Shits and the Fear Boners.

Several layers were involved in the nullification of the trade, which is the second trade vetoed this season. A deal between MIII-LES … YOU SUCK and the Leapin’ Chancellors was vetoed on Oct. 1.

The trade would have sent Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Baltimore wide receiver Kamar Aiken and an eighth-round draft pick in 2016 from the Second Floor Shits to the Fear Boners in exchange for Green Bay wide receiver Randall Cobb, Washington tight end Jordan Reed and a third-round pick in 2016.

The trade, which was originally proposed last Wednesday, was officially accepted Monday afternoon by Second Floor Shits owner Len Neslin. Fear Boners owner Marc Schwartz immediately expressed concern to Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan.

“(I) offered that trade early last week after talks broke down, he never responded in our conversation,” Schwartz wrote in a message to the League Office. “I was not prepared to do that trade/didn’t think it was an option because we have not spoken in the last five days, then he goes and accepts it out of nowhere without talking to me first.”

Brennan was concerned at first that there would be no recourse for the Fear Boners, as they proposed the trade and did not cancel it before the Second Floor Shits accepted. Brennan informed Schwartz that he could not veto his own trade, citing the “Eisenberg Rule” that was added to the Constitution last January.

However, the Commissioner forwarded Schwartz’s position to the ownership at large. Ownership immediately cited a portion of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Constitution, which colloquially became known as the “good faith clause.”

“All trades shall be made in good faith with the best interest of each
team’s short- and/or long-term future in mind,” reads Article VI, Section 5 of the document.

Brennan outlined the ground rules of how he would handle the matter. He decided to give ownership a chance to veto the trade before he would make an official decision on whether the trade violated the Constitution.

“I respect the ownership of this league, and I want to make sure a variety of opinions were heard,” the Commissioner said. “When possible, I like to stay away from executive action. Ownership acted quickly and decisively to do what was in the best interest of this league.”

Vetoes were submitted by MIII-LES … YOU SUCK owner Jamie Palatini, You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher, Thanks Obama! owner Andrew Vazzano, Mr. McGibblets owner Matt Eisenberg, Deacon Blues owner Miles McQuiggan, Calle Ochocinco owner Corey Hersch and Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan.

Palatini was the first owner to submit a veto and emerged as the driving force behind gathering other owners to do the same.

“I didn’t get the name Trader Jame because I’m anti-trade; I’m a pro-trade guy,” Palatini said. “This might not have been Marc’s most responsible moment as an owner. But when there’s a clear violation of the ‘good faith clause’ in the B4E Constitution, justice must be served swiftly.”

Brennan agreed with the Commissioner’s way of handling the case.

“The Small-Town Americans believe in a small central administration and limited executive action, so we applaud the Commissioner in allowing ownership to make its move,” Brennan said. “This was a victory for we anti-federalists.”

Ownership cited two violations of the “good faith clause.” First was the fact that Neslin allowed the trade to remain in limbo for five days before accepting out of the blue. The other was evidence provided by Schwartz that Neslin did not live up to his in-principle agreement.

Fletcher immediately referred to the message as the “smoking gun.” The decisive vetoes were submitted after Schwartz produced the evidence.

“The Fear Boners organization holds the integrity of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League to the highest degree,” said Schwartz, who soon followed up with a full release of his own. “It is our expectation that each organization and respective owner rises up to that same standard set forth by our fellow Boners. Today, Leonard Neslin and the Second Floor Shits organization did not live up to this standard, and that is truly unsettling.”

Neslin, however, had mixed feelings about the situation.

“I didn’t think a former division champion and league force needed training wheels, but if it’s for the betterment and integrity of the league I am all for it,” Neslin said. “However, if a formal apology is what he wants in order to get what I think we both feel is a perfectly fair deal to go through, then here it is: I’m sorry for duping you, Marc. It was unintended, as I truly believe you knew that you had an outstanding proposed trade to me.”

The official veto does not mean business between the two clubs is closed, and Neslin is not done shopping around his starting quarterback.

“Also, as if the league doesn’t already know by now, Aaron Rodgers is officially on the trading block,” Neslin said.

–B4EFFL–