Category Archives: Team Releases

Team Releases

TRADER JAME WINS 2023 BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP

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First Three-Time Champion in B4EFFL History; First Regular-Season Champ to Win Title Since You’ve Been Chopped in 2018

Trader Jame Defeats The Love Bus 119.20-77.36 in Championship Game; 15th Consecutive Week Jame Eclipses 100 Points Scored

True to Its Roots, Key Trade Acquisitions Power Trader Jame to Championship

BEACON, N.Y. – January 1, 2024 – Fantasy football history was made on Sunday night, as Trader Jame defeated The Love Bus, 119.20-77.36, to capture a record third Bobcats4Ever league championship and become the winningest franchise in league history.

“First off, I want to congratulate The Love Bus on a great battle in the Championship Game and a fantastic rivalry all year, as all three of our matchups this season were true tests,” said Trader Jame GM Trader Jame. “You hate for injuries to play a role in the outcome and we certainly feel for Marc, CMC and Alvin, and hope they’ll be back to full strength for 2024. Overall, we’re just really happy for the team, especially our long-time QB Josh Allen who captures his second title with the organization.”

Trader Jame’s 119.20 points were punctuated by another stellar performance by WR CeeDee Lamb, who totaled 33.70 points on 13 catches, 227 receiving yards and a touchdown. After Week 5, Lamb exceeded 15 points in all but one matchup and recorded 20-plus points in six of 11 weeks. Lamb was acquired on Sept. 29 along with a 2024 ninth-round pick in exchange for RB Nick Chubb and a fourth-round pick.

“Definitely one of the trades over the past decade that we’re the proudest of,” said TJGMTJ. “We had to pivot quickly with the unfortunate injury to our good pal Nick, we know what ‘Eights’ is capable of, and he showed that down the stretch.”

Five of Trader Jame’s Week 17 starters were acquired via trade, including WR Nico Collins, RB Rachaad White, TE Dalton Schultz and WR Michael Pittman.

Trader Jame also boasted the top fantasy QB (Josh Allen), top fantasy WR (CeeDee Lamb) and two of the top five fantasy RBs (Raheem Mostert and Rachaad White) in terms of points scored in 2023.

“I think we’re most proud of our 10th round selection of Raheem Mostert,” said TJGMTJ. “Obviously we’re known for our ability to wheel and deal, but I don’t think our scouting staff gets nearly enough credit for what they contribute to our roster construction. I know our group worked hard in the offseason to identify players that we thought would get to the late rounds and could make a difference this season, and that’s exactly what Raheem did for us this year.”

Trader Jame’s Week 17 output of 119.20 marked the 15th consecutive matchup in which the squad recorded at least 100 points. Trader Jame went 3-0 in his rivalry matchups this season and defeated The Love Bus three times en route to the league title. Trader Jame concluded is media availability with some news regarding the 2024 roster.

“We’ll have to see…obviously, we can’t keep Josh any longer but we hope he’ll come back to us in free agency. Our running backs were great for us this year, but we also think we have a potentially strong wide receiver corps with CeeDee, Nico and Michael Pittman Jr…it’s possible we could see all three of those WRs kept on the roster for 2024.”

-BOBCATS4EVER-

Team Releases

Fear Boners to Rebrand to The Love Bus

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TEAM UNVEILS NEW IDENTITY, INTRODUCING THE LOVE BUS TO THE B4E CIRCUIT

REPRESENTS FIRST REBRAND IN TEAM HISTORY

MORRIS PLAINS, NEW JERSEY — Schwartz Football, Inc. founder/owner Marc Schwartz announced that the organization’s Bobcats4Ever franchise — formerly Fear Boners — has now changed its name to The Love Bus, effective immediately. This represents the first rebrand in franchise history.

“After a long stretch of regular season success but postseason impotence, we felt it was time for a needed shaft, err, shift in the club’s identity,” said Schwartz. “It’ll be hard for us to move on from the strong, well-shaped branding we have established, but the time has come for us to take in what has worked, what has not, and adjust, even if uncomfortable at first.”

The new branding already has an accepted foundation in B4E lore. The Love Bus was an affectionate nickname given to Schwartz by many of his college friends and was totally not something he made up for himself on the spot.

“We considered some of our other great nicknames that we definitely did not come up with, such as Gefilte Fresh, The Horizontal Surprise, The Bear Jew, Jewish Chocolate, and more. Ultimately, we felt that bringing The Bus back fit both our short-term and long-term marketing goals,” said Schwartz. “Who doesn’t want to hop aboard The Love Bus?!”

Fear Boners enjoyed success throughout its long run. The club ranks third all-time in average league finish (5.33), all-time winning percentage (.561) and fourth in Neslin Awards (10). Despite all this success, the club has not won a league title, not finished in the top three since 2018, has not competed in the championship round since 2014 and ranks eighth in lifetime earnings.

“Simply put, the Boners failed to rise to the occasion when it mattered most, leaving those closest to the club confused and disappointed,” recalled Schwartz. “We feel our new identity welcomes all fans and renews our common purpose of bringing home wins.”

–BOBCATS4EVER–

Team Releases

Trader Jame Wins 2020 Bobcats4Ever League Championship

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True to Its Roots, Trader Jame Rides Key Trades, Waiver Wire and Free Agent Acquisitions to Top of York Hill

Trader Jame Defeats Eisenbrowns 180.71-134.41 in Championship Game, Posts Highest Point Total of 2020, Plus Highest Championship Game Total and Margin of Victory in League History

Second Franchise in League History to Win Multiple Championships

Second Team in League History to Win League Title as No. 6 Seed

Trader Jame Averaged Nearly 150 Points Per Week During Postseason

BEACON, N.Y. – December 28, 2020 – Punctuated by a dominant 37-point performance by WR Stefon Diggs – one of five players on the starting roster and nine on the full roster to exceed 20 points during Championship Week – Trader Jame cruised to its second Bobcats4Ever league championship on Monday night with a 180.71-134.14 win against Eisenbrowns.

“First off, I want to congratulate Eisenbrowns on a great battle in the Championship Game and all of our league competitors on a great 2020 season, including Second Floor Shits who finally pushed through and made the postseason this year,” said Trader Jame GM Trader Jame. “I’m incredibly proud of this group. We really overcame a lot of adversity and it took contributions from all members of this squad. Whether it was a keeper, a draft pick, a trade acquisition, a waiver wire add or a Week 16 free agent signing, everyone contributed and that’s why I’m particularly proud of this year’s team.”

Trader Jame’s 180.71 points mark the highest Championship Game total in league history, and the 46.57 margin of victory is the also the largest in Championship Game history. The 180.71 points are the highest total of the 2020 season and best since Week 8 of 2019 (Small Town Americans, 203.11 points). Trader Jame’s optimal lineup this week would have exceeded 220 points.

Despite huge performances by QB Tom Brady (37.92 pts) and WR Adam Thielen (19.70 pts) to spot Eisenbrowns an early 56.62-0.00, Trader Jame responded with a number of key coaching decisions, first by starting recently-injured Myles Gaskin the FLEX position on Saturday night (31.40 pts). Trader Jame made another key call at WR on Sunday, starting trade-deadline acquisition Brandin Cooks at WR, who delivered his second-best point total of the season (23.60).

The nail in Eisenbrowns’ coffin came less than an hour before the Sunday 1 p.m. ET slate – a move that has earned monikers in league circles o’er recent days including “The Christmas Morning Miracle” – when Trader Jame started the much-maligned Carolina DEF, who were acquired on Christmas morning and responded with their best performance of the season (22.79 pts) against the undermanned Washington Football Team.

This year’s team took a drastically different path from the 2013 squad en route to the title, overcoming season-ending injuries to keeper QB Dak Prescott and first-round pick Kenny Golladay and pulling off three consecutive upset victories as the No. 6 seed in the playoffs. This marks the second time in league history a No. 6 seed as won the championship (You’ve Been Chopped, 2015).

Trader Jame lived to its full reputation in 2020 and responded to injuries with shrewd moves in the trade, waiver and free agent markets, starting with the Oct. 21 acquisition of QB Lamar Jackson. The club continued to improve in the trade market with acquisitions of RB Josh Jacobs and WR Brandin Cooks on Nov. 4.

Trader Jame’s final and pivotal acquisition came Nov. 29, hours before the trade deadline occurred, bringing in QB Josh Allen as insurance for a swap of low-level 2021 draft picks. Allen led Trader Jame to the playoffs with a massive Week 13 performance in a must-win situation, then followed it with a strong performance in the first week of the playoffs.

“While we made a number of trades and moved a number of picks, this team is built to succeed in 2021. Both Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson boast seventh-round keeper value, and WR Stefon Diggs and RB Nick Chubb also bring keeper appeal, as does WR CeeDee Lamb. All of our moves this year were made not only for this year, but for 2021 and years to come.”

Trader Jame becomes the second franchise in league history to capture multiple league championships (You’ve Been Chopped, 2015 & 2018), harkening back to Bobcats4Ever inaugural 2013 season, when fan-favorites HOW BOUT DAT?! carried an 11-2 regular-season record into the playoffs before dispatching Mr. McGibblets and The Fear Boners.

-BOBCATS4EVER-

Team Releases

BCBC Takes Home Best Draft Award

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BOLD COLD BREW CREW
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Vazzano Says Team is Ready for Season, Looking to Duplicate Points-For Record from 2015

VERONA, N.J. — Bold Cold Brew Crew was given the Toyota Camry Best In Class award after a blockbuster draft.

Given an “A” grade for picks of Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Brown (keeper) and Travis Kelce, among others, the team is projected to go 10-3 according to experts.

Team owner Andrew Vazzano said he’s not surprised by the result.

“We really didn’t do a lot of research, but our deep knowledge of the team and willingness to get creative with certain picks was destined to pay off,” Vazzano said.

Continue reading BCBC Takes Home Best Draft Award →

Team Releases

Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election

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BOLD COLD BREW CREW
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Team Will Now Be Known As ‘Bold Cold Brew Crew’

VERONA, N.J. — Due to the upcoming election that will take place during the 2016 Bobcats4Ever season, the team formerly known as “Thanks Obama!” will undertake a re-branding process to become the “Bold Cold Brew Crew,” effective immediately.

“We love our time as Thanks Obama!, but it just won’t make sense anymore, come November,” team owner Andrew Vazzano said in a statement. “Our move to the Bold Cold Brew Crew is a step in the right direction for us.”

Continue reading Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election →

Team Releases

You’ve Been Chopped Clinches Bobcats4Ever Championship

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YOU’VE BEEN CHOPPED
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

YOU’VE BEEN CHOPPED Becomes League’s Most Valuable Franchise

“L’chaim!” – Owner and GM Andrew Fletcher

NEW YORK — You’ve Been Chopped, a subsidiary of FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.©, Monday night defeated Mealz On Wheelz, 124.46-103.63, to clinch the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League championship. The championship was the first for a Jewish Division franchise.

“This means the world to me, to be honest with you,” said Andrew Fletcher, FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.© Chairman and CEO and GM and Owner of the You’ve Been Chopped franchise. “To be able to overcome the adversity we faced and to prove the doubters wrong, man, words can’t describe this feeling. L’chaim!”

Fletcher stormed through the early part of the schedule with a 7-2 record, but injuries to star players Andrew Luck, Jamaal Charles and Julian Edelman caused You’ve Been Chopped to back into the playoffs as the sixth seed with a four-game losing streak. Key free-agent pickups like Doug Baldwin and Tim Hightower, and a trade for quarterback Carson Palmer, paid off dividends, however.

Fletcher went on to upset No. 3 seed Thanks Obama! in the quarterfinals and last year’s champion and No. 1 seed Small-Town Americans in the semifinals en route to the championship. As noted by B4EStats, an unofficial Twitter account that provides “stats and information” for the league, the acquisitions of Palmer and Hightower scored 50 of You’ve Been Chopped points in the finals.

“On behalf of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League, I extend my heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Fletcher, all his colleagues at Food Network Football, Inc. and the men at You’ve Been Chopped for winning our third championship,” said Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan. “This goes to show what kind of success is possible when an organization is as well structured as Mr. Fletcher’s is. He and his staff were able to adjust to a number of misfortunes throughout the season to earn a championship and continue the terrific parity that our league has enjoyed. It’s also a step forward for our Jewish Division, which had been let down twice by the Fear Boners in championship play.”

After selling a 5-percent stake to Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban back in February, it was clear Fletcher had his eyes on contending following last season’s fifth-place finish.

“I think you can turn your club into a championship contender,” Cuban said during ABC’s broadcast.

With the win and a $336 prize, You’ve Been Chopped surpasses MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! as the league’s most valuable franchise as measured by Forbes and Sports Business Journal.

“Congratulations to all of the owners for a great season,” Fletcher said. “I can’t wait for 2016.”

FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.© incorporated in Delaware with offices in New York and New Jersey, was consolidated in January 2015. “You’ve Been Chopped” is a charter franchise in the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League. The company’s Board of Directors includes Fletcher; Kenneth W. Lowe, Scripps Networks Interactive chairman, CEO and president; “Chopped” host Ted Allen; Alton Brown, host of “Cutthroat Kitchen”; Scott Conant, “Chopped” judge and restaurateur; Cuban, the outspoken owner of the Dallas Mavericks; and Amanda Freitag, “Chopped” judge and restaurateur.

— YBC —

Team Releases

Fear Boners Respond to Vetoed Trade with Second Floor Shits

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FEAR BONERS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Players, Front Office upset with rival organization’s morals

Boners to establish groundbreaking “indefinite moratorium”

“Respectfully, their GM can go f*ck himself.” – Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz

HIGHLAND PARK, N.J. — A trade between the Fear Boners and the Second Floor Shits was vetoed by fellow Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership Monday evening.

The ruling came from a majority vote of ownership, citing a clear violation of the “good faith clause,” seen in Article VI, Section 5 of the B4EFFL Constitution.

“All trades shall be made in good faith with the best interest of each team’s short- and/or long-term future in mind,” it reads.

Earlier in the evening, Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz issued a brief statement to the league:

“The Fear Boners organization holds the integrity of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football to the highest degree,” he said. “It is our expectation that each organization and respective owner rises up to that same standard set forth by our fellow Boners. Today, Leonard Neslin and the Second Floor Shits organization did not live up to this standard, and that is truly unsettling.”

Continue reading Fear Boners Respond to Vetoed Trade with Second Floor Shits →

Team Releases

MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! Lives Up to Namesake, Destroys Miles

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MIII-LES … YOU SUCK
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

MIII-LES…YOU SUCK! Improves to 3-2 with Third Straight Win Following Four-Player Trade with Deacon Blues

Four Players Acquired in Trade for MYS! Have Out-Produced Blues Quartet By More Than 100 Points in Just Three Weeks #MilesLuck

“BORTLES?!? Fucking Blake Bortles?” – Blues GM Miles McQuiggan on MYS! QB Who Outdueled Blues QB Tom Brady Sunday

“Say it with us…MIII-LES…MIII-LES…MIII-LES…YOU SUCK!” – MYS! GM Jamie Palatini to Club’s Supporters

MYS! Launches New #MilesLuck Campaign

NEW YORK — In what can best be described as the fantasy football version of grabbing a punk’s hand, hitting him in his own head with said hand, and shouting, “Why are ya hitting yourself?! Stop hitting yourself!” MIII-LES…YOU SUCK! jumped out to a massive lead on Sunday and never looked back, clinching a Week 5 victory over rival and organization namesake GM Miles McQuiggan and Deacon Blues.

MYS! defeated Deacon Blues, 125.36-91.71. In the win, MYS! QB Blake Bortles out-produced Blues QB Tom Brady 35.22-29.30, while the Blues got -1.99 points from the Jacksonville defense.

Continue reading MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! Lives Up to Namesake, Destroys Miles →

Team Releases

Red-Hot Small-Town Americans Make Brief Statements

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SMALL-TOWN AMERICANS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Defending Champions on Verge of Four-Game Winning Streak

Brennan Continues String of High-Impact Acquisitions

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — The Small-Town Americans, the defending champions of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League, were on the verge early Sunday evening of their fourth consecutive victory and move into the top two of the league standings.

The squad, which is 3-1 and in third place after four weeks of the season, held a hefty lead over Thanks Obama! after the day games Sunday and was a heavy favorite to earn the victory over the second-place team.

“We couldn’t wait until after the week was over to put out this statement,” Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan said. “Here goes.”

Continue reading Red-Hot Small-Town Americans Make Brief Statements →

Team Releases

Calle Ochocinco Issues Statement on Draft, Jake Arrieta

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CALLE OCHOCINCO
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

“I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?” — Owner/GM Corey Hersch

EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Following the completion of the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Draft, Calle Ochocinco owner and general manager Corey Hersch issued the following statement to season ticket holders and fans:

There is no doubt that Sunday night was a date that had been marked on everyone’s calendar for many weeks. As an owner, there might be nothing I look forward to more than Draft Day. On Sunday, extenuating circumstances led to a draft performance that, by some, may not be looked on favorably. A no-hitter thrown by Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Jake Arrieta led to unforeseen chaos in the Calle Ochocinco war room. We’re talking about a pitcher with a career ERA of nearly 4.00, and someone who had never won more than 10 games coming into the 2015 season. And now he’s having a Cy Young-caliber season? I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?

With that being said, we will not use Sunday’s draft as an excuse for any poor performance in the upcoming season. I make a pledge to each and every one of you that we will redouble our efforts to make this season of Calle Ochocinco fantasy football one that will live on in the history books. With dynamic players such as Russell Wilson, Julio Jones and DeSean Jackson, an emerging future star in Ameer Abdullah, and a host of other quality players, Calle Ochocinco is more than capable of taking the next step in 2015. We have already been, and will continue to be, active on the waiver wire, and will pursue any and all opportunities to improve our roster. Let the pundits make their predictions, but I promise you that, come playoff time, they’ll be feasting on their own words for Christmas dinner.

Sincerely yours,

Corey Hersch
Owner and General Manager, Calle Ochocinco

–CO–