BOLD COLD BREW CREW
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Vazzano Says Team is Ready for Season, Looking to Duplicate Points-For Record from 2015

VERONA, N.J. — Bold Cold Brew Crew was given the Toyota Camry Best In Class award after a blockbuster draft.

Given an “A” grade for picks of Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Brown (keeper) and Travis Kelce, among others, the team is projected to go 10-3 according to experts.

Team owner Andrew Vazzano said he’s not surprised by the result.

“We really didn’t do a lot of research, but our deep knowledge of the team and willingness to get creative with certain picks was destined to pay off,” Vazzano said.

Headlined by Rodgers and Brown, BCBC will also have DeAndre Hopkins (keeper) anchoring with wide receiver corp.

“From an ADP perspective, both of their keepers are of first-round quality. Overall, the keepers on Bold Cold Brew Crew are projected to be dramatically more productive (by 35%) than the draft picks they replaced,” experts predict.

From picking up the best defense in the league rounds before anyone else went to that side of the ball, to securing the best kicker hours before anyone else even thought of special teams, BCBC is setting themselves up for another record-setting season.

“We got fucked last year, somehow giving up the most points in the league through no fault of our own,” Vazzano said. “We’re looking forward to lighting up the scoreboard week after week this year. Watch out!”

BCBC General Manager Gus the Groundhog could not be reached for comment, the team said, as his two holes to his home are currently blocked by shed construction.