Team Releases

TRADER JAME WINS 2023 BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP

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First Three-Time Champion in B4EFFL History; First Regular-Season Champ to Win Title Since You’ve Been Chopped in 2018

Trader Jame Defeats The Love Bus 119.20-77.36 in Championship Game; 15th Consecutive Week Jame Eclipses 100 Points Scored

True to Its Roots, Key Trade Acquisitions Power Trader Jame to Championship

BEACON, N.Y. – January 1, 2024 – Fantasy football history was made on Sunday night, as Trader Jame defeated The Love Bus, 119.20-77.36, to capture a record third Bobcats4Ever league championship and become the winningest franchise in league history.

“First off, I want to congratulate The Love Bus on a great battle in the Championship Game and a fantastic rivalry all year, as all three of our matchups this season were true tests,” said Trader Jame GM Trader Jame. “You hate for injuries to play a role in the outcome and we certainly feel for Marc, CMC and Alvin, and hope they’ll be back to full strength for 2024. Overall, we’re just really happy for the team, especially our long-time QB Josh Allen who captures his second title with the organization.”

Trader Jame’s 119.20 points were punctuated by another stellar performance by WR CeeDee Lamb, who totaled 33.70 points on 13 catches, 227 receiving yards and a touchdown. After Week 5, Lamb exceeded 15 points in all but one matchup and recorded 20-plus points in six of 11 weeks. Lamb was acquired on Sept. 29 along with a 2024 ninth-round pick in exchange for RB Nick Chubb and a fourth-round pick.

“Definitely one of the trades over the past decade that we’re the proudest of,” said TJGMTJ. “We had to pivot quickly with the unfortunate injury to our good pal Nick, we know what ‘Eights’ is capable of, and he showed that down the stretch.”

Five of Trader Jame’s Week 17 starters were acquired via trade, including WR Nico Collins, RB Rachaad White, TE Dalton Schultz and WR Michael Pittman.

Trader Jame also boasted the top fantasy QB (Josh Allen), top fantasy WR (CeeDee Lamb) and two of the top five fantasy RBs (Raheem Mostert and Rachaad White) in terms of points scored in 2023.

“I think we’re most proud of our 10th round selection of Raheem Mostert,” said TJGMTJ. “Obviously we’re known for our ability to wheel and deal, but I don’t think our scouting staff gets nearly enough credit for what they contribute to our roster construction. I know our group worked hard in the offseason to identify players that we thought would get to the late rounds and could make a difference this season, and that’s exactly what Raheem did for us this year.”

Trader Jame’s Week 17 output of 119.20 marked the 15th consecutive matchup in which the squad recorded at least 100 points. Trader Jame went 3-0 in his rivalry matchups this season and defeated The Love Bus three times en route to the league title. Trader Jame concluded is media availability with some news regarding the 2024 roster.

“We’ll have to see…obviously, we can’t keep Josh any longer but we hope he’ll come back to us in free agency. Our running backs were great for us this year, but we also think we have a potentially strong wide receiver corps with CeeDee, Nico and Michael Pittman Jr…it’s possible we could see all three of those WRs kept on the roster for 2024.”

-BOBCATS4EVER-

League Releases

Commissioner Rules Second Floor Shits to Compete Under ‘No Proposals Until Playoffs’ Stipulation

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Second Floor Shits Prohibited from Proposing Rule Changes Until Franchise Qualifies for Postseason

Follows Failure of Owner Lenny Neslin’s Six-Option Scoring Change Proposal, Subsequent Complaint from Trader Jame

Ruling Influenced by Franchise’s History of Shitty Proposals and Circling the Drain in Regular Season

BEACON FALLS, Conn. – The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League has announced that the Second Floor Shits will be prohibited from submitting proposals for rule changes or additions to the league’s Constitution until the franchise qualifies for the postseason.

The ruling comes in response to an official complaint lodged by Trader Jame on the annual Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Preseason Owners Survey, in which Second Floor Shits owner Lenny Neslin proposed an onerous, six-option proposal to change scoring settings for kickers and defense/special teams — choices included vague references to “sharply” or “slightly” reducing scoring. All six measures failed, with seven of the league’s 12 owners voting to approve none of the proposals.

The other two proposed rule changes — one by the Eisenbrowns to make all missed field goals from 0-49 yards worth minus-one point, and another by The Love Bus to allow pre-keeper deadline trades including any player on the previous season’s rosters — both passed, 8-4 and 7-5, respectively.

Continue reading Commissioner Rules Second Floor Shits to Compete Under ‘No Proposals Until Playoffs’ Stipulation →
Team Releases

Fear Boners to Rebrand to The Love Bus

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TEAM UNVEILS NEW IDENTITY, INTRODUCING THE LOVE BUS TO THE B4E CIRCUIT

REPRESENTS FIRST REBRAND IN TEAM HISTORY

MORRIS PLAINS, NEW JERSEY — Schwartz Football, Inc. founder/owner Marc Schwartz announced that the organization’s Bobcats4Ever franchise — formerly Fear Boners — has now changed its name to The Love Bus, effective immediately. This represents the first rebrand in franchise history.

“After a long stretch of regular season success but postseason impotence, we felt it was time for a needed shaft, err, shift in the club’s identity,” said Schwartz. “It’ll be hard for us to move on from the strong, well-shaped branding we have established, but the time has come for us to take in what has worked, what has not, and adjust, even if uncomfortable at first.”

The new branding already has an accepted foundation in B4E lore. The Love Bus was an affectionate nickname given to Schwartz by many of his college friends and was totally not something he made up for himself on the spot.

“We considered some of our other great nicknames that we definitely did not come up with, such as Gefilte Fresh, The Horizontal Surprise, The Bear Jew, Jewish Chocolate, and more. Ultimately, we felt that bringing The Bus back fit both our short-term and long-term marketing goals,” said Schwartz. “Who doesn’t want to hop aboard The Love Bus?!”

Fear Boners enjoyed success throughout its long run. The club ranks third all-time in average league finish (5.33), all-time winning percentage (.561) and fourth in Neslin Awards (10). Despite all this success, the club has not won a league title, not finished in the top three since 2018, has not competed in the championship round since 2014 and ranks eighth in lifetime earnings.

“Simply put, the Boners failed to rise to the occasion when it mattered most, leaving those closest to the club confused and disappointed,” recalled Schwartz. “We feel our new identity welcomes all fans and renews our common purpose of bringing home wins.”

–BOBCATS4EVER–

Team Releases

Trader Jame Wins 2020 Bobcats4Ever League Championship

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True to Its Roots, Trader Jame Rides Key Trades, Waiver Wire and Free Agent Acquisitions to Top of York Hill

Trader Jame Defeats Eisenbrowns 180.71-134.41 in Championship Game, Posts Highest Point Total of 2020, Plus Highest Championship Game Total and Margin of Victory in League History

Second Franchise in League History to Win Multiple Championships

Second Team in League History to Win League Title as No. 6 Seed

Trader Jame Averaged Nearly 150 Points Per Week During Postseason

BEACON, N.Y. – December 28, 2020 – Punctuated by a dominant 37-point performance by WR Stefon Diggs – one of five players on the starting roster and nine on the full roster to exceed 20 points during Championship Week – Trader Jame cruised to its second Bobcats4Ever league championship on Monday night with a 180.71-134.14 win against Eisenbrowns.

“First off, I want to congratulate Eisenbrowns on a great battle in the Championship Game and all of our league competitors on a great 2020 season, including Second Floor Shits who finally pushed through and made the postseason this year,” said Trader Jame GM Trader Jame. “I’m incredibly proud of this group. We really overcame a lot of adversity and it took contributions from all members of this squad. Whether it was a keeper, a draft pick, a trade acquisition, a waiver wire add or a Week 16 free agent signing, everyone contributed and that’s why I’m particularly proud of this year’s team.”

Trader Jame’s 180.71 points mark the highest Championship Game total in league history, and the 46.57 margin of victory is the also the largest in Championship Game history. The 180.71 points are the highest total of the 2020 season and best since Week 8 of 2019 (Small Town Americans, 203.11 points). Trader Jame’s optimal lineup this week would have exceeded 220 points.

Despite huge performances by QB Tom Brady (37.92 pts) and WR Adam Thielen (19.70 pts) to spot Eisenbrowns an early 56.62-0.00, Trader Jame responded with a number of key coaching decisions, first by starting recently-injured Myles Gaskin the FLEX position on Saturday night (31.40 pts). Trader Jame made another key call at WR on Sunday, starting trade-deadline acquisition Brandin Cooks at WR, who delivered his second-best point total of the season (23.60).

The nail in Eisenbrowns’ coffin came less than an hour before the Sunday 1 p.m. ET slate – a move that has earned monikers in league circles o’er recent days including “The Christmas Morning Miracle” – when Trader Jame started the much-maligned Carolina DEF, who were acquired on Christmas morning and responded with their best performance of the season (22.79 pts) against the undermanned Washington Football Team.

This year’s team took a drastically different path from the 2013 squad en route to the title, overcoming season-ending injuries to keeper QB Dak Prescott and first-round pick Kenny Golladay and pulling off three consecutive upset victories as the No. 6 seed in the playoffs. This marks the second time in league history a No. 6 seed as won the championship (You’ve Been Chopped, 2015).

Trader Jame lived to its full reputation in 2020 and responded to injuries with shrewd moves in the trade, waiver and free agent markets, starting with the Oct. 21 acquisition of QB Lamar Jackson. The club continued to improve in the trade market with acquisitions of RB Josh Jacobs and WR Brandin Cooks on Nov. 4.

Trader Jame’s final and pivotal acquisition came Nov. 29, hours before the trade deadline occurred, bringing in QB Josh Allen as insurance for a swap of low-level 2021 draft picks. Allen led Trader Jame to the playoffs with a massive Week 13 performance in a must-win situation, then followed it with a strong performance in the first week of the playoffs.

“While we made a number of trades and moved a number of picks, this team is built to succeed in 2021. Both Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson boast seventh-round keeper value, and WR Stefon Diggs and RB Nick Chubb also bring keeper appeal, as does WR CeeDee Lamb. All of our moves this year were made not only for this year, but for 2021 and years to come.”

Trader Jame becomes the second franchise in league history to capture multiple league championships (You’ve Been Chopped, 2015 & 2018), harkening back to Bobcats4Ever inaugural 2013 season, when fan-favorites HOW BOUT DAT?! carried an 11-2 regular-season record into the playoffs before dispatching Mr. McGibblets and The Fear Boners.

-BOBCATS4EVER-

League Releases

Owners Pick Morgese for Sellers Franchise Rollover

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mike Morgese ’13 Replaces “Mealz on Wheelz” Owner Ted Sellers

Noted Milk-Lover Can “Get Up,” Unlike Previous Owner

League Also Approves Rule Change to First-Round Keepers; Other Rule Changes Pending

BEACON FALLS, Conn. – The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League has announced that Mike Morgese will join the league as a team owner and general manager for the 2019 season, replacing Ted Sellers, who joined the league as a replacement owner in 2015. Morgese will inherit the Mealz on Wheelz franchise and has elected to rebrand the club due to his non-handicapped status.

Morgese, a longtime employee at ESPN, elected to rename his club Team Get Up after his noted catchphrase from college. This team name, which announced after the annual Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Preseason Owners Caucus, was anticipated and preemptively mocked by one owner in the survey results.

“He better have a franchise name that isn’t just Get Up,” Eisenbrowns owner Matt Eisenberg wrote.

“Unfortunately, ‘Greenberg Stole Get Up From Me‘ was too long (of) a name,” Morgese explained.

When urged to provide more information for the league’s press release, Morgese appeared to be confused.

“There’s a press release?” he naively asked, unaware of this league’s obsessive depth.

Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan welcomed a fellow member of one of his graduating classes into the league. As many are aware, Brennan graduated from Quinnipiac in 2012 but identified more with the class of 2013, which also includes Fear Boners owner Marc Schwartz and charter member and former WhatWould Jones-Drew owner Matthias Gausz.

“Mike Morgese is as unique of a human being as he is a friend of mine,” Brennan said. “I feel as though his proven ability to walk from a bathroom to his bedroom while soaking wet and jump into bed with his shoes on is the type of trait that will translate well to the mental instability needed to compete in our league.”

The league originally faced a dilemma earlier this offseason when it had commitments from only 10 owners to return after PartyDiedOfDysentery owner Miles McQuiggan submitted his resignation near the end of last season. Along with Sellers’ departure, owners were prepared to make a decision between contraction to 10 teams or finding two new owners.

However, several owners flew to Dublin, Ireland, in late July for a retreat to discuss ways to retain McQuiggan. The delegation that included Trader Jame owner Jamie Palatini, You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher, and Second Floor Shits owner Lenny Neslin maintained trans-Atlantic communication with McQuiggan, who requested one week to consider his status.

“To me, Miles never left the league,” Neslin said. “Miles saying, ‘I’m not coming back,’ is just his way of saying, ‘Please, somebody give me something in order to stay in the league.’ But of course, we didn’t have to give him anything, and, of course, he returned anyway. That’s Miles in a nutshell. Love that dude.”

McQuiggan announced his return to the league Aug. 2.

“Deacon Blues Football has elected to remain in the B4EFFL for the 2019 season pending the commissioner’s office securing a 12th owner to assume control of the Sellers franchise,” wrote McQuiggan, forgetting that he’d abandoned his Deacon Blues franchise name during the pits of last season.

“The whole process was pretty McQuiggonian,” Brennan said. “McQuiggese? McQuigganan.”

That announcement escalated talks regarding candidates to fill Sellers’ vacancy. Names such as Justin Cohen, Robin Schuppert, John Healy, Nick Dench — “Da fuq is Dench?” Palatini asked — official league arbiter Jeremy Schilling, and charter member and former many-named-franchise owner Alex Birsh were briefly discussed before Schwartz reached out to Morgese to gauge his interest. The league office followed suit Aug. 3.

“Only for the camaraderie — not a fantasy fan,” Morgese wrote. “Maybe I’ll get in the group photo this year at a hockey game.”

Morgese becomes the 15th owner in league history. Sellers left with a career record of 28-31 (.475), including a runner-up performance in his debut season of 2015 and fifth-place finishes in each of the following two seasons. McQuiggan, meanwhile, is 36-49 (.424) with his best result as the 2016 runner-up.

Meanwhile, ownership approved one rule change in the initial owners caucus. Neslin proposed a change last season that would limit the number of times a franchise could keep a player at first-round value. Ownership approved a change, 9-2, which will allow a franchise to keep a player for only one extra year past his initial achievement of first-round value starting in 2020.

Article VI, Section 2, Paragraph C of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Constitution was amended as such: “Keepers returning to the same team beyond the first consecutive time shall be assigned draft value one round higher than the player held in the previous season, unless the player held first-round value the previous season, in which case that player will maintain first-round value. Beginning in the 2020 season, a team may only keep a player at first-round value for one year after he has reached maximum value (whether he was originally drafted in the first round or escalated to first-round value) with that team. After the player has used his maximum first-round-value eligibility, he shall be released into the pool of free agents for the next draft.”

Neslin’s other proposal, which essentially sought a flip in prize payouts to favor regular-season points over playoff performances, was defeated, 8-3.

In discussion among ownership while beginning to discuss keeper prospects, owners discovered a loophole that allowed the Fear Boners to keep Le’Veon Bell on injured reserve all of last season despite the fact that held out for a new contract. Owners will now vote on two more potential rule changes to address the injured reserve position and the keeper escalation of players who are suspended or hold out for more than half of the season.

The Bobcats4Ever Draft is tentatively schedule for Tuesday, Aug. 27, at 9 p.m., with the keeper deadline of Thursday, Aug. 22. The draft date is subject to a possible change to Wednesday, Sept. 4, but an official date will be announced pending the results of the owners caucus survey supplement.

You’ve Been Chopped returns as the reigning league champion after becoming the first franchise in league history to win multiple titles (2015, 2018). HOW’s this team 6-4?!, led by owner Mark Spillane, finished as runner-up, and the Fear Boners maintained their bridesmaid status by registering a third top-three performance in six seasons.

— B4EFFL —

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Approve Silverman to Replace Longtime Owner Birsh

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mike Silverman ’10 Replaces “Don’t Call Me Gurley” Owner Alex Birsh

Silverman Renames Team “DAAAA Jew”

BEACON FALLS, Conn. – The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League has announced that Mike Silverman will join the league as a team owner and general manager for the 2018 season, replacing Alex Birsh, who joined the league in its inaugural season in 2013. Silverman will inherit the Don’t Call Me Gurley franchise and has already renamed it DAAAA Jew.

“I can’t believe it took you all this long to remember I exist,” said Silverman. “Shoutout to Birsh stepping aside.”

“We are thrilled to welcome Mike Silverman to the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League,” Commissioner Kyle Brennan said. “Silverman possesses sports acumen that will raise the competitive level of our league. And while his beloved Chicago Bears give him little to root for, we think his new ownership position in our league will finally give him reason to pay attention to pro football on Sundays for the first time in several years.”

Birsh exits the league following five years as a team owner and general manager. Birsh compiled a 19-46 (.292) overall record as owner and general manager of the Ask Jeeves?/Hit Schticks/Leapin’ Chancellors/Don’t Call Me Gurley franchise, but concluded his tenure with a career-best 8-5-0 record in 2017, before ultimately falling to Fear Boners in the league quarterfinals.

“Silverman’s location in Chicago was a major selling point for our league office to consider during this process,” Brennan added. “Our league is already well-established in the major Northeast media markets of New York and Boston, and this is an exciting time as we break into another major market in the Midwest.”

Bold Cold Brew Crew is the defending Bobcats4Ever champion, defeating You’ve Been Chopped by a score of 146.38-141.34 in the 2017 championship to earn its first-ever league title.

-BOBCATS4EVER-

Team Releases

BCBC Takes Home Best Draft Award

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BOLD COLD BREW CREW
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Vazzano Says Team is Ready for Season, Looking to Duplicate Points-For Record from 2015

VERONA, N.J. — Bold Cold Brew Crew was given the Toyota Camry Best In Class award after a blockbuster draft.

Given an “A” grade for picks of Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Brown (keeper) and Travis Kelce, among others, the team is projected to go 10-3 according to experts.

Team owner Andrew Vazzano said he’s not surprised by the result.

“We really didn’t do a lot of research, but our deep knowledge of the team and willingness to get creative with certain picks was destined to pay off,” Vazzano said.

Continue reading BCBC Takes Home Best Draft Award →

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Historic Keeper Process Sees All Owners Make Selections on Time; Most Keepers Actually Make Sense This Year

Rule Changes Include Three-Keeper Expansion, Defensive Changes

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League is pleased to announce the keeper selections for its 12 franchises in advance of the 2016 Bobcats4Ever Draft, which is set for Monday at 10:15 p.m.

Ownership had a small window in which to make their keeper selections after the annual caucus survey set the draft date slightly earlier than anticipated. For the first time, all 12 owners made their selections before the 11:59 p.m. deadline Tuesday.

“Well bend me over and call me Bradley,” Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan said. “I’m shocked.”

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes →

Team Releases

Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election

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BOLD COLD BREW CREW
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Team Will Now Be Known As ‘Bold Cold Brew Crew’

VERONA, N.J. — Due to the upcoming election that will take place during the 2016 Bobcats4Ever season, the team formerly known as “Thanks Obama!” will undertake a re-branding process to become the “Bold Cold Brew Crew,” effective immediately.

“We love our time as Thanks Obama!, but it just won’t make sense anymore, come November,” team owner Andrew Vazzano said in a statement. “Our move to the Bold Cold Brew Crew is a step in the right direction for us.”

Continue reading Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election →

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

You’ve Been Chopped Earns First Championship

Fletcher Joins Palatini, Brennan as Top Owners in League History

Bobcats4Ever Record Book Updated, Expanded

Fans to Vote for Postseason Awards

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — For the first time in franchise history, You’ve Been Chopped earned the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League championship by defeating league newcomer Mealz on Wheelz last month to conclude the Bobcats4Ever Playoffs.

You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher joins MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! owner Jamie Palatini and Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan as the only owners to win the league championship.

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans →