Tag Archives: Bobcats4Ever

Team Releases

TRADER JAME WINS 2023 BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP

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First Three-Time Champion in B4EFFL History; First Regular-Season Champ to Win Title Since You’ve Been Chopped in 2018

Trader Jame Defeats The Love Bus 119.20-77.36 in Championship Game; 15th Consecutive Week Jame Eclipses 100 Points Scored

True to Its Roots, Key Trade Acquisitions Power Trader Jame to Championship

BEACON, N.Y. – January 1, 2024 – Fantasy football history was made on Sunday night, as Trader Jame defeated The Love Bus, 119.20-77.36, to capture a record third Bobcats4Ever league championship and become the winningest franchise in league history.

“First off, I want to congratulate The Love Bus on a great battle in the Championship Game and a fantastic rivalry all year, as all three of our matchups this season were true tests,” said Trader Jame GM Trader Jame. “You hate for injuries to play a role in the outcome and we certainly feel for Marc, CMC and Alvin, and hope they’ll be back to full strength for 2024. Overall, we’re just really happy for the team, especially our long-time QB Josh Allen who captures his second title with the organization.”

Trader Jame’s 119.20 points were punctuated by another stellar performance by WR CeeDee Lamb, who totaled 33.70 points on 13 catches, 227 receiving yards and a touchdown. After Week 5, Lamb exceeded 15 points in all but one matchup and recorded 20-plus points in six of 11 weeks. Lamb was acquired on Sept. 29 along with a 2024 ninth-round pick in exchange for RB Nick Chubb and a fourth-round pick.

“Definitely one of the trades over the past decade that we’re the proudest of,” said TJGMTJ. “We had to pivot quickly with the unfortunate injury to our good pal Nick, we know what ‘Eights’ is capable of, and he showed that down the stretch.”

Five of Trader Jame’s Week 17 starters were acquired via trade, including WR Nico Collins, RB Rachaad White, TE Dalton Schultz and WR Michael Pittman.

Trader Jame also boasted the top fantasy QB (Josh Allen), top fantasy WR (CeeDee Lamb) and two of the top five fantasy RBs (Raheem Mostert and Rachaad White) in terms of points scored in 2023.

“I think we’re most proud of our 10th round selection of Raheem Mostert,” said TJGMTJ. “Obviously we’re known for our ability to wheel and deal, but I don’t think our scouting staff gets nearly enough credit for what they contribute to our roster construction. I know our group worked hard in the offseason to identify players that we thought would get to the late rounds and could make a difference this season, and that’s exactly what Raheem did for us this year.”

Trader Jame’s Week 17 output of 119.20 marked the 15th consecutive matchup in which the squad recorded at least 100 points. Trader Jame went 3-0 in his rivalry matchups this season and defeated The Love Bus three times en route to the league title. Trader Jame concluded is media availability with some news regarding the 2024 roster.

“We’ll have to see…obviously, we can’t keep Josh any longer but we hope he’ll come back to us in free agency. Our running backs were great for us this year, but we also think we have a potentially strong wide receiver corps with CeeDee, Nico and Michael Pittman Jr…it’s possible we could see all three of those WRs kept on the roster for 2024.”

-BOBCATS4EVER-

League Releases

Commissioner Rules Second Floor Shits to Compete Under ‘No Proposals Until Playoffs’ Stipulation

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Second Floor Shits Prohibited from Proposing Rule Changes Until Franchise Qualifies for Postseason

Follows Failure of Owner Lenny Neslin’s Six-Option Scoring Change Proposal, Subsequent Complaint from Trader Jame

Ruling Influenced by Franchise’s History of Shitty Proposals and Circling the Drain in Regular Season

BEACON FALLS, Conn. – The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League has announced that the Second Floor Shits will be prohibited from submitting proposals for rule changes or additions to the league’s Constitution until the franchise qualifies for the postseason.

The ruling comes in response to an official complaint lodged by Trader Jame on the annual Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Preseason Owners Survey, in which Second Floor Shits owner Lenny Neslin proposed an onerous, six-option proposal to change scoring settings for kickers and defense/special teams — choices included vague references to “sharply” or “slightly” reducing scoring. All six measures failed, with seven of the league’s 12 owners voting to approve none of the proposals.

The other two proposed rule changes — one by the Eisenbrowns to make all missed field goals from 0-49 yards worth minus-one point, and another by The Love Bus to allow pre-keeper deadline trades including any player on the previous season’s rosters — both passed, 8-4 and 7-5, respectively.

Continue reading Commissioner Rules Second Floor Shits to Compete Under ‘No Proposals Until Playoffs’ Stipulation →
League Releases

Owners Pick Morgese for Sellers Franchise Rollover

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mike Morgese ’13 Replaces “Mealz on Wheelz” Owner Ted Sellers

Noted Milk-Lover Can “Get Up,” Unlike Previous Owner

League Also Approves Rule Change to First-Round Keepers; Other Rule Changes Pending

BEACON FALLS, Conn. – The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League has announced that Mike Morgese will join the league as a team owner and general manager for the 2019 season, replacing Ted Sellers, who joined the league as a replacement owner in 2015. Morgese will inherit the Mealz on Wheelz franchise and has elected to rebrand the club due to his non-handicapped status.

Morgese, a longtime employee at ESPN, elected to rename his club Team Get Up after his noted catchphrase from college. This team name, which announced after the annual Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Preseason Owners Caucus, was anticipated and preemptively mocked by one owner in the survey results.

“He better have a franchise name that isn’t just Get Up,” Eisenbrowns owner Matt Eisenberg wrote.

“Unfortunately, ‘Greenberg Stole Get Up From Me‘ was too long (of) a name,” Morgese explained.

When urged to provide more information for the league’s press release, Morgese appeared to be confused.

“There’s a press release?” he naively asked, unaware of this league’s obsessive depth.

Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan welcomed a fellow member of one of his graduating classes into the league. As many are aware, Brennan graduated from Quinnipiac in 2012 but identified more with the class of 2013, which also includes Fear Boners owner Marc Schwartz and charter member and former WhatWould Jones-Drew owner Matthias Gausz.

“Mike Morgese is as unique of a human being as he is a friend of mine,” Brennan said. “I feel as though his proven ability to walk from a bathroom to his bedroom while soaking wet and jump into bed with his shoes on is the type of trait that will translate well to the mental instability needed to compete in our league.”

The league originally faced a dilemma earlier this offseason when it had commitments from only 10 owners to return after PartyDiedOfDysentery owner Miles McQuiggan submitted his resignation near the end of last season. Along with Sellers’ departure, owners were prepared to make a decision between contraction to 10 teams or finding two new owners.

However, several owners flew to Dublin, Ireland, in late July for a retreat to discuss ways to retain McQuiggan. The delegation that included Trader Jame owner Jamie Palatini, You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher, and Second Floor Shits owner Lenny Neslin maintained trans-Atlantic communication with McQuiggan, who requested one week to consider his status.

“To me, Miles never left the league,” Neslin said. “Miles saying, ‘I’m not coming back,’ is just his way of saying, ‘Please, somebody give me something in order to stay in the league.’ But of course, we didn’t have to give him anything, and, of course, he returned anyway. That’s Miles in a nutshell. Love that dude.”

McQuiggan announced his return to the league Aug. 2.

“Deacon Blues Football has elected to remain in the B4EFFL for the 2019 season pending the commissioner’s office securing a 12th owner to assume control of the Sellers franchise,” wrote McQuiggan, forgetting that he’d abandoned his Deacon Blues franchise name during the pits of last season.

“The whole process was pretty McQuiggonian,” Brennan said. “McQuiggese? McQuigganan.”

That announcement escalated talks regarding candidates to fill Sellers’ vacancy. Names such as Justin Cohen, Robin Schuppert, John Healy, Nick Dench — “Da fuq is Dench?” Palatini asked — official league arbiter Jeremy Schilling, and charter member and former many-named-franchise owner Alex Birsh were briefly discussed before Schwartz reached out to Morgese to gauge his interest. The league office followed suit Aug. 3.

“Only for the camaraderie — not a fantasy fan,” Morgese wrote. “Maybe I’ll get in the group photo this year at a hockey game.”

Morgese becomes the 15th owner in league history. Sellers left with a career record of 28-31 (.475), including a runner-up performance in his debut season of 2015 and fifth-place finishes in each of the following two seasons. McQuiggan, meanwhile, is 36-49 (.424) with his best result as the 2016 runner-up.

Meanwhile, ownership approved one rule change in the initial owners caucus. Neslin proposed a change last season that would limit the number of times a franchise could keep a player at first-round value. Ownership approved a change, 9-2, which will allow a franchise to keep a player for only one extra year past his initial achievement of first-round value starting in 2020.

Article VI, Section 2, Paragraph C of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Constitution was amended as such: “Keepers returning to the same team beyond the first consecutive time shall be assigned draft value one round higher than the player held in the previous season, unless the player held first-round value the previous season, in which case that player will maintain first-round value. Beginning in the 2020 season, a team may only keep a player at first-round value for one year after he has reached maximum value (whether he was originally drafted in the first round or escalated to first-round value) with that team. After the player has used his maximum first-round-value eligibility, he shall be released into the pool of free agents for the next draft.”

Neslin’s other proposal, which essentially sought a flip in prize payouts to favor regular-season points over playoff performances, was defeated, 8-3.

In discussion among ownership while beginning to discuss keeper prospects, owners discovered a loophole that allowed the Fear Boners to keep Le’Veon Bell on injured reserve all of last season despite the fact that held out for a new contract. Owners will now vote on two more potential rule changes to address the injured reserve position and the keeper escalation of players who are suspended or hold out for more than half of the season.

The Bobcats4Ever Draft is tentatively schedule for Tuesday, Aug. 27, at 9 p.m., with the keeper deadline of Thursday, Aug. 22. The draft date is subject to a possible change to Wednesday, Sept. 4, but an official date will be announced pending the results of the owners caucus survey supplement.

You’ve Been Chopped returns as the reigning league champion after becoming the first franchise in league history to win multiple titles (2015, 2018). HOW’s this team 6-4?!, led by owner Mark Spillane, finished as runner-up, and the Fear Boners maintained their bridesmaid status by registering a third top-three performance in six seasons.

— B4EFFL —

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Historic Keeper Process Sees All Owners Make Selections on Time; Most Keepers Actually Make Sense This Year

Rule Changes Include Three-Keeper Expansion, Defensive Changes

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League is pleased to announce the keeper selections for its 12 franchises in advance of the 2016 Bobcats4Ever Draft, which is set for Monday at 10:15 p.m.

Ownership had a small window in which to make their keeper selections after the annual caucus survey set the draft date slightly earlier than anticipated. For the first time, all 12 owners made their selections before the 11:59 p.m. deadline Tuesday.

“Well bend me over and call me Bradley,” Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan said. “I’m shocked.”

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes →

Team Releases

Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election

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BOLD COLD BREW CREW
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Team Will Now Be Known As ‘Bold Cold Brew Crew’

VERONA, N.J. — Due to the upcoming election that will take place during the 2016 Bobcats4Ever season, the team formerly known as “Thanks Obama!” will undertake a re-branding process to become the “Bold Cold Brew Crew,” effective immediately.

“We love our time as Thanks Obama!, but it just won’t make sense anymore, come November,” team owner Andrew Vazzano said in a statement. “Our move to the Bold Cold Brew Crew is a step in the right direction for us.”

Continue reading Team Formerly Known As ‘Thanks Obama!’ Re-Branding Due to Election →

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

You’ve Been Chopped Earns First Championship

Fletcher Joins Palatini, Brennan as Top Owners in League History

Bobcats4Ever Record Book Updated, Expanded

Fans to Vote for Postseason Awards

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — For the first time in franchise history, You’ve Been Chopped earned the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League championship by defeating league newcomer Mealz on Wheelz last month to conclude the Bobcats4Ever Playoffs.

You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher joins MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! owner Jamie Palatini and Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan as the only owners to win the league championship.

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans →

Team Releases

You’ve Been Chopped Clinches Bobcats4Ever Championship

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YOU’VE BEEN CHOPPED
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

YOU’VE BEEN CHOPPED Becomes League’s Most Valuable Franchise

“L’chaim!” – Owner and GM Andrew Fletcher

NEW YORK — You’ve Been Chopped, a subsidiary of FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.©, Monday night defeated Mealz On Wheelz, 124.46-103.63, to clinch the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League championship. The championship was the first for a Jewish Division franchise.

“This means the world to me, to be honest with you,” said Andrew Fletcher, FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.© Chairman and CEO and GM and Owner of the You’ve Been Chopped franchise. “To be able to overcome the adversity we faced and to prove the doubters wrong, man, words can’t describe this feeling. L’chaim!”

Fletcher stormed through the early part of the schedule with a 7-2 record, but injuries to star players Andrew Luck, Jamaal Charles and Julian Edelman caused You’ve Been Chopped to back into the playoffs as the sixth seed with a four-game losing streak. Key free-agent pickups like Doug Baldwin and Tim Hightower, and a trade for quarterback Carson Palmer, paid off dividends, however.

Fletcher went on to upset No. 3 seed Thanks Obama! in the quarterfinals and last year’s champion and No. 1 seed Small-Town Americans in the semifinals en route to the championship. As noted by B4EStats, an unofficial Twitter account that provides “stats and information” for the league, the acquisitions of Palmer and Hightower scored 50 of You’ve Been Chopped points in the finals.

“On behalf of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League, I extend my heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Fletcher, all his colleagues at Food Network Football, Inc. and the men at You’ve Been Chopped for winning our third championship,” said Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan. “This goes to show what kind of success is possible when an organization is as well structured as Mr. Fletcher’s is. He and his staff were able to adjust to a number of misfortunes throughout the season to earn a championship and continue the terrific parity that our league has enjoyed. It’s also a step forward for our Jewish Division, which had been let down twice by the Fear Boners in championship play.”

After selling a 5-percent stake to Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban back in February, it was clear Fletcher had his eyes on contending following last season’s fifth-place finish.

“I think you can turn your club into a championship contender,” Cuban said during ABC’s broadcast.

With the win and a $336 prize, You’ve Been Chopped surpasses MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! as the league’s most valuable franchise as measured by Forbes and Sports Business Journal.

“Congratulations to all of the owners for a great season,” Fletcher said. “I can’t wait for 2016.”

FOOD NETWORK FOOTBALL, Inc.© incorporated in Delaware with offices in New York and New Jersey, was consolidated in January 2015. “You’ve Been Chopped” is a charter franchise in the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League. The company’s Board of Directors includes Fletcher; Kenneth W. Lowe, Scripps Networks Interactive chairman, CEO and president; “Chopped” host Ted Allen; Alton Brown, host of “Cutthroat Kitchen”; Scott Conant, “Chopped” judge and restaurateur; Cuban, the outspoken owner of the Dallas Mavericks; and Amanda Freitag, “Chopped” judge and restaurateur.

— YBC —

League Releases

Commissioner Places Transaction Ban on Deacon Blues, McQuiggan

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Places Transaction Ban on Deacon Blues

Unprecedented Move in Response to “Insubordinate, Churlish Behavior” by Blues Owner McQuiggan

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Commissioner Kyle Brennan announced Tuesday afternoon that the League Office has placed an indefinite transaction ban on the Deacon Blues franchise and owner Miles McQuiggan using the power granted to the Commissioner by the league’s Constitution.

The transaction ban is the first of its kind in the three-year history of the league. Deacon Blues is prohibited from adding or dropping players, or participating in trades with any other franchise, until the League Office lifts the ban. The ban was installed at 1 p.m. on Tuesday.

McQuiggan abused the power of removing Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan from the league’s official Facebook chat earlier Tuesday afternoon.

Continue reading Commissioner Places Transaction Ban on Deacon Blues, McQuiggan →

Team Releases

Fear Boners Respond to Vetoed Trade with Second Floor Shits

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FEAR BONERS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Players, Front Office upset with rival organization’s morals

Boners to establish groundbreaking “indefinite moratorium”

“Respectfully, their GM can go f*ck himself.” – Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz

HIGHLAND PARK, N.J. — A trade between the Fear Boners and the Second Floor Shits was vetoed by fellow Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership Monday evening.

The ruling came from a majority vote of ownership, citing a clear violation of the “good faith clause,” seen in Article VI, Section 5 of the B4EFFL Constitution.

“All trades shall be made in good faith with the best interest of each team’s short- and/or long-term future in mind,” it reads.

Earlier in the evening, Boner Chief/GM Marc Schwartz issued a brief statement to the league:

“The Fear Boners organization holds the integrity of the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football to the highest degree,” he said. “It is our expectation that each organization and respective owner rises up to that same standard set forth by our fellow Boners. Today, Leonard Neslin and the Second Floor Shits organization did not live up to this standard, and that is truly unsettling.”

Continue reading Fear Boners Respond to Vetoed Trade with Second Floor Shits →

League Releases

Ownership Vetoes Trade, Citing ‘Good Faith Clause’

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Blockbuster Deal Between Second Floor Shits, Fear Boners Nullified

Ownership Cites ‘Good Faith’ Clause of Constitution in Second Veto of Season

Boners Owner Schwartz: Shits Owner Neslin’s Actions “Truly Unsettling”

Shits Owner Neslin Expresses Remorse Despite Boners Owner Schwartz’s “Training Wheels”

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership vetoed Monday evening a trade between the Second Floor Shits and the Fear Boners.

Several layers were involved in the nullification of the trade, which is the second trade vetoed this season. A deal between MIII-LES … YOU SUCK and the Leapin’ Chancellors was vetoed on Oct. 1.

The trade would have sent Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Baltimore wide receiver Kamar Aiken and an eighth-round draft pick in 2016 from the Second Floor Shits to the Fear Boners in exchange for Green Bay wide receiver Randall Cobb, Washington tight end Jordan Reed and a third-round pick in 2016.

Continue reading Ownership Vetoes Trade, Citing ‘Good Faith Clause’ →