Tag Archives: HUGE CANS

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Historic Keeper Process Sees All Owners Make Selections on Time; Most Keepers Actually Make Sense This Year

Rule Changes Include Three-Keeper Expansion, Defensive Changes

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League is pleased to announce the keeper selections for its 12 franchises in advance of the 2016 Bobcats4Ever Draft, which is set for Monday at 10:15 p.m.

Ownership had a small window in which to make their keeper selections after the annual caucus survey set the draft date slightly earlier than anticipated. For the first time, all 12 owners made their selections before the 11:59 p.m. deadline Tuesday.

“Well bend me over and call me Bradley,” Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan said. “I’m shocked.”

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Announces 2016 Keeper Selections, Rule Changes →

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

You’ve Been Chopped Earns First Championship

Fletcher Joins Palatini, Brennan as Top Owners in League History

Bobcats4Ever Record Book Updated, Expanded

Fans to Vote for Postseason Awards

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — For the first time in franchise history, You’ve Been Chopped earned the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League championship by defeating league newcomer Mealz on Wheelz last month to conclude the Bobcats4Ever Playoffs.

You’ve Been Chopped owner Andrew Fletcher joins MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! owner Jamie Palatini and Small-Town Americans owner Kyle Brennan as the only owners to win the league championship.

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Wraps Third Season, Opens Awards Voting to Fans →

League Releases

Ownership Vetoes Trade Between MYS, Chancellors

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

First Trade Vetoed Under New Rules

League Seizes Chaotic Opportunity to Expand Social Media Presence

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League ownership vetoed on Thursday morning a trade between MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! and the Leapin’ Chancellors.

The trade, which was originally accepted by owners Jamie Palatini and Alex Birsh at 10:23 a.m. on Thursday, would have seen MIII-LES … YOU SUCK! send Indianapolis WR Donte Moncrief, New Orleans QB Drew Brees and an 11th-round draft pick in 2016 to the Leapin’ Chancellors for Dallas WR Dez Bryant, San Diego QB Philip Rivers and an eighth-round draft pick in 2016.

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League Releases

Draft Ushers in Era of Parity; Constitution Amended

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

All 12 Teams Projected to Finish Within 135 Points

Three Draft-Day Trades Move Murray, 31 Picks

Several Amendments Made to Constitution

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — The Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League might think about changing its name to the Parity4Ever Fantasy Football League. That’s how this season is shaping up after an intriguing 2015 Bobcats4Ever Draft on Sunday evening.

“I thought that lead was pretty creative,” Bobcats4Ever Commissioner Kyle Brennan said.

Yahoo! Fantasy Football currently projects the difference between the league’s most prolific team (Thanks Obama!) and the league’s weakest squad (the Fear Boners) to be just 134.44 points. That’s in stark contrast to last season, in which the Fear Boners outscored Thanks Obama! by a league-record 589.17 points.

In addition, only one team (Team Spillzzzzzz) is projected to win 10 games, while only one team (the Leapin’ Chancellors) is projected to win fewer than five.

Continue reading Draft Ushers in Era of Parity; Constitution Amended →

Team Releases

Calle Ochocinco Issues Statement on Draft, Jake Arrieta

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CALLE OCHOCINCO
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

“I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?” — Owner/GM Corey Hersch

EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Following the completion of the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Draft, Calle Ochocinco owner and general manager Corey Hersch issued the following statement to season ticket holders and fans:

There is no doubt that Sunday night was a date that had been marked on everyone’s calendar for many weeks. As an owner, there might be nothing I look forward to more than Draft Day. On Sunday, extenuating circumstances led to a draft performance that, by some, may not be looked on favorably. A no-hitter thrown by Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Jake Arrieta led to unforeseen chaos in the Calle Ochocinco war room. We’re talking about a pitcher with a career ERA of nearly 4.00, and someone who had never won more than 10 games coming into the 2015 season. And now he’s having a Cy Young-caliber season? I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?

With that being said, we will not use Sunday’s draft as an excuse for any poor performance in the upcoming season. I make a pledge to each and every one of you that we will redouble our efforts to make this season of Calle Ochocinco fantasy football one that will live on in the history books. With dynamic players such as Russell Wilson, Julio Jones and DeSean Jackson, an emerging future star in Ameer Abdullah, and a host of other quality players, Calle Ochocinco is more than capable of taking the next step in 2015. We have already been, and will continue to be, active on the waiver wire, and will pursue any and all opportunities to improve our roster. Let the pundits make their predictions, but I promise you that, come playoff time, they’ll be feasting on their own words for Christmas dinner.

Sincerely yours,

Corey Hersch
Owner and General Manager, Calle Ochocinco

–CO–

League Releases

Commissioner Brennan Makes Pre-Draft Announcements

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Pre-Draft Trades Taking League by Storm

Commissioner Wary of Leaks to Media

Minor Controversies Addressed with Authority

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — In the wake of an extraordinarily busy two-day span in the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League, Commissioner Kyle Brennan has a series of announcements and reminders to owners as the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Draft approaches Sunday.

TRADES

As voted upon at the inaugural owners’ meeting in January, the league is allowing draft-day trades of picks and keepers for the first time. This new capability has caused much of the excitement of the past few days.

“There’s no doubt that this was a good decision by ownership,” Brennan said. “Anything that heightens excitement for our season before the draft is good for our league, our clubs, our business partners and our fans.”

Continue reading Commissioner Brennan Makes Pre-Draft Announcements →

League Releases

Bobcats4Ever FFL Announces 2015 Keeper Selections

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Some Quizzical Picks Among Keepers

Leapin’ Chancellors Granted Extension Because Commissioner’s Cool

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — With the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League Draft mere days away, Commissioner Kyle Brennan announces the keeper selections for all 12 franchises as finalized midnight Thursday.

Each club is allowed to keep as many as two players from its 2014 roster. Keepers are then slotted in the draft according to the league’s unique rules. Any player returning to a franchise for the first time will be assessed a draft-pick value equal to where he was selected in 2014, with a sixth-round basement for players drafted below the sixth round or acquired via waivers. Any player returning to a franchise beyond the first time will escalate one round in draft-pick value for each season he is kept. Clubs that do not have a draft pick equal to the value of its keeper must use a higher draft pick on that keeper. Clubs with multiple picks within a round designated for a keeper will use its latest pick within that round to select the keeper.

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League Releases

Bobcats4Ever Releases Offseason Update, Preseason Primer

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BOBCATS4EVER LEAGUE OFFICE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

League prepares for third season, which promises to be best yet

Changes to names, rules highlight offseason

Preseason caucus set for August

BEACON FALLS, Conn. — As the nation slowly begins to shift its focus back toward football, so too does the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League. In about one month, the league’s 12 franchises will prepare to draft for a third season.

To help the league’s owners and legion of fans get back into gear and set the scene for the upcoming season, Commissioner Kyle Brennan has a series of announcements pertaining to the start of league business.

“I’m thoroughly excited for the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League’s third season,” Brennan said. “We have a powerful and clear Constitution in place after our productive owners meeting in January, a fascinating draft lineup and a terrific defending champion — all of which look to make this fall our best season to date.”

While the league is still coming into shape for this fall, Brennan advises owners and fans to disregard any divisional or schedule alignments automated by Yahoo!’s engine. The league office will straighten out all such issues once all owners have re-registered their teams.

Among the announcements are new team names, reminders of rule changes passed in January, proposals for the preseason caucus and a look-ahead toward the season’s structure.

Continue reading Bobcats4Ever Releases Offseason Update, Preseason Primer →

Media Reports

Sharks, Statements, Salami, Oh My!

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BY CALEB GINDL
NEW YORK POST FANTASY SPORTS BEAT WRITER

Unprecedented league activity paces typically dormant off-season period

NEW YORK — One thing I’ve learned since covering the Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Football League is to expect the unexpected. Commissioner Kyle Brennan has encouraged his owners to think about their teams all year long.

And boy did they ever.

I was out of the country on a personal journey during the month of February. It was a very rewarding life experience and I’m thankful my new employer allowed me to pursue it. But opening up my email upon my return and seeing league release after release was rewarding in its own right. The league is full of 12 passionate owners and to cover this league takes a special kind of reporter. Let’s jump right into some of the news and notes we missed last month.

Continue reading Sharks, Statements, Salami, Oh My! →

Team Releases

Calle Ochocinco Issues Statement on Minority Owner Chad Johnson

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CALLE OCHOCINCO
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Former NFL wide receiver’s role with team is currently under review

EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Calle Ochocinco majority owner Corey Hersch issued the following statement Friday night regarding a tweet sent out by minority partner Chad Johnson:

Earlier tonight, it came to my attention that Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) sent out a tweet that could only be described as in the poorest of taste. In the name of transparency, we will post it below:

tweet

Continue reading Calle Ochocinco Issues Statement on Minority Owner Chad Johnson →