CALLE OCHOCINCO
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

“I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?” — Owner/GM Corey Hersch

EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Following the completion of the 2015 Bobcats4Ever Fantasy Draft, Calle Ochocinco owner and general manager Corey Hersch issued the following statement to season ticket holders and fans:

There is no doubt that Sunday night was a date that had been marked on everyone’s calendar for many weeks. As an owner, there might be nothing I look forward to more than Draft Day. On Sunday, extenuating circumstances led to a draft performance that, by some, may not be looked on favorably. A no-hitter thrown by Chicago Cubs starting pitcher Jake Arrieta led to unforeseen chaos in the Calle Ochocinco war room. We’re talking about a pitcher with a career ERA of nearly 4.00, and someone who had never won more than 10 games coming into the 2015 season. And now he’s having a Cy Young-caliber season? I mean, seriously, who the fuck is this guy anyway?

With that being said, we will not use Sunday’s draft as an excuse for any poor performance in the upcoming season. I make a pledge to each and every one of you that we will redouble our efforts to make this season of Calle Ochocinco fantasy football one that will live on in the history books. With dynamic players such as Russell Wilson, Julio Jones and DeSean Jackson, an emerging future star in Ameer Abdullah, and a host of other quality players, Calle Ochocinco is more than capable of taking the next step in 2015. We have already been, and will continue to be, active on the waiver wire, and will pursue any and all opportunities to improve our roster. Let the pundits make their predictions, but I promise you that, come playoff time, they’ll be feasting on their own words for Christmas dinner.

Sincerely yours,

Corey Hersch
Owner and General Manager, Calle Ochocinco

–CO–